I know I haven’t posted anything in a few weeks (shocking, actually).
It’s not that I’ve been having a bad time. On the contrary, I’ve been having a good, almost great time lately.
And that’s what I’m worried about.
Did I just jinx it?
Will the other shoe drop?
God, I hope not.
No texts or calls from Evil Bitch in MONTHS.
I haven’t felt the need to ask questions about her in the past few weeks.
What’s weird is that I’m finding it easier and easier to really not give a shit about her (WHO THE FUCK IS THIS WOMAN WRITING THIS POST? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?) I just don’t know what to make of my change. Is it indifference? Is it confidence? Is it healing? Beats the shit out of me but, I’ll take it!
J has been awesome. Seriously.
He apologized for what he did to me/us a few times in the last few weeks! (Especially since he read that Loyalty post that Pablo’s Wife shared with us — thank you! xx). He’s actually apologized when he lost his patience with me last week (shocker) and for interrupting me the other day (shocker #2).
Just yesterday, he was leaving for golf with our youngest son (Father’s Day fun for him), and I made a joke! Yes, I actually joked about his affair! This is a major, major step for me! This is how it went down: He thanked me for letting him go play golf on Father’s Day and for having a selfishly fun day. I said he deserved to have fun, but don’t have too much fun! I even wiggled my eyebrows at him and said, “You know what I mean [insert cigar and funny glasses with that remark]”. He wasn’t prepared for my levity! He reacted pretty immaturely and said “No!” and walked off! AS IFFFFFF! That was my first reaction. But, after a few minutes, I just let it roll off my back (yes, another step toward healing? – maybe). Within 30 minutes of his reaction, he came back and apologized to me! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS MAN?
Again, I don’t want to jinx it.
Our sex life is still great, not quite crazy rabbit sex, but still off the charts and we are finding a realistic groove.
We don’t have another marriage counseling session until July 3rd (HippyDippy’s vacation schedule and our crazy work schedules delayed it). That’s fine. I don’t feel the need for mediation at this moment. That may change. And I know I’ll get something out of the session. J agrees.
So, my life is finding a good rhythm with all the end-of-year craziness with school, parties and such. We still find time to connect and we still are on a good path.
But, like I said before, I don’t want to jinx it.