About

Hello out there. I’m a fresh 48 year old woman, who is reeling from my husband’s infidelity in 2013. I’ve been married to this man for 24 years. Just celebrated our anniversary a week before Dday! We have two sons. I’m still in a fog of pain. Hoping to find a path to peace and forgiveness.

The fog

The fog

Discovery Day = 10/14/2013

Suspicion Day = 10/11/2013

11 thoughts on “About

  1. Hi ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m sorry to meet you under such unfortunate circumstances, it seems neither of us had a very good 2013. I’ve also been married over 20 years, and I thought it meant we’d made it, conquered the worst, obviously I was wrong.
    I started my blog in hopes of figuring things out and somehow whethering the pain too. I must say it has and is helping thus far.
    I hope you find your peace, and ar able to honor forgiveness. Its not the easy route for sure, and I commend you. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Thank you, shattered — I have followed your blog and have to commend you for your strength and beauty. Your name is apropos (the “heartnsoul”, not the “shattered”) – your heart and soul is rich and deep.

      I think this blog will help me during my journey. I know I have gained insight (with a few “wow, so that’s the reason…” moments) from reading other blogs from various perspectives: OW, OM, BS, prick, asshole, etc.

      Thank you, again, for your comment and please keep writing, you are an inspiration!

    • It gets harder than starts to find balance. I just (over the last few weeks) have felt it gets easier. Time helps. Around 5 weeks, I still wasn’t eating, but I was walking for sanity reasons. Hugs, you’ve found a friendly place to express your pain.

  2. I so identify with you, your thoughts, experiences, and even the swearing. I laughed when I read your comments on how you swear a lot. My Dday was 10/19/2013.

    Each day will be a struggle. Just last night my husband and I had another talk about ending our marriage (brought on by me. He wanted to work at it and not give up, and me… I was angry and wanted him to leave because I was(am) tired of feeling so shitty and empty. But deep down I love him and I hate all the feelings and thoughts that come with this shit.

    • It sucks, doesn’t it? The pain, the uncertainty, the lack of honesty? It’s exhausting.

      I will say it’s encouraging that he doesn’t want to give up! My husband, at first, was ready to walk because he knew that I would have a hard time forgiving. After all, he was a fucking saint in forgiving me – asshole! Anyway, perhaps counseling (individual or couple) would help? After awhile I was so exhausted reading the damn books and him not really showing interest in learning what I was reading. He finally read the one book I asked him to read. It helped.

      Don’t give up on YOU. If it also means, by association, on not giving up on HIM, then he’s one lucky MOFO ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Find some peace for yourself each day – walking, talking, music, somethingโ€ฆ You need to recharge yourself in some way.

      We are here to support each other through this crappy time in our lives. xox

      • I too have read a bunch of books. I asked him to read one and he maybe made it to chapter four and has not done any reading since. That has really bothered me because I feel I have done so much to try and understand and cope with this and he has shown no interest to do anything on his own. It’s all me. Me talking, me reading, me dealing with it. That bothers me a lot because it still feels like “his secret.”

        I commend you for putting yourself out there and doing what you do. Be proud of yourself. You have experienced both sides and that is very brave to share that with the world.

  3. I thought the same thing as you. My husband and I had been together 21 years, kids were grown, and life seemed comfortable. I never saw my husband’s affair coming. My marriage was struck the fatal wound in August 2012, though the entire year before had been rough. I’m sorry you are going through so much pain. I started my blog about a month before I found out about his affair, and I blogged all the way through each horrible step of our relationship dying. I believe writing about it made all the difference for me, and hearing from others in similar situations helped me a lot.

    Wishing you the best!

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