18 Months

18 months since Dday. 

I don’t check the mobile phone account as obsessively.

I don’t look at her Facebook profile everyday.

I don’t check his browser history like I used to.

That’s progress! Right?

Things are good. Some silly, minor tiffs, but nothing horrible. In fact, we are learning to resolve more quickly.  Yet, we both have been a little moody/bitchy. Probably due to him quitting smoking (grumpy man). Oh, and we are both on a health kick…no bread, no cheese, no pasta, no chocolate. It’s hell…haha. 

He says more heartfelt things. Like the other morning right before dawn, he whispered that I was perfect for him. 

I can’t believe it’s been 18 months.  Honestly, the first 13 months sucked. Not really knowing how things were going to pan out. Still not sure…but, are we ever? 

No. If that is one thing I’ve learned from this shit sandwich is that NOTHING is for sure. Nothing. 

Just today.

20 thoughts on “18 Months

  1. brokenjoan says:

    Hey Tempted, glad to see you post again, things sound almost normal in your household, except for the no chocolate part! Hugs from Joan

  2. I had an affair says:

    Great progress! It’s the little steps. Good thing about them being little steps forward is if you do step back, those are also little steps. πŸ™‚

  3. No cheese or chocolate? I would need morphine to survive that. You sound really well, good job. It takes time. Here I am at 4 years and I feel like the last year has been good and normal. For the first time. Before that? Patchy. It is a long, slow, winding road.

  4. No cheese or chocolate sounds like torture!!!! I’d be grumpy πŸ™‚ I’ve often referred to my life and this situation as a shit sandwich too. And its true, we know nothing for certain. I’m glad you are embracing the present and making the most of it. Its all we can do, really.

  5. Hey there Tempted πŸ™‚ has it really been that long? Guess I’m right behind you in hurtling towards that milestone. Glad you’re doing well. I am too… for the most part. The anger has subsided but has been replaced by sadness. Sadness that what I thought we had, he so readily threw away. Sadness that the marriage we had is dead, sadness that my innocence was taken away from me. But thankfully its not that all encompassing sadness because there’s still just enough anger there to keep me from wallowing too much. Maybe I’ve found my equilibrium… somewhere between pissed off and sad LOL!

    Anyway I’m glad you are doing well 18 months out from DDay. Who’d have thunk we’d have made it thus far with our sanity intact and our husbands still sporting their balls eh?? πŸ˜‰

  6. Tempted, that’s great! I agree w IHAA, little steps forward, little steps back lol. Gettin’ your healthy on togethers’ got to be a really big help… you can enjoy, complain feel better and look better together which only supports “more and better communication” So glad he’s quitting smoking. aside from all the health benefits, his kisses will taste all the more better…for him too πŸ˜‰

  7. Sad/mad is life for me, too. The other night, he asked what was wrong (hate that fucking question). I said nothing. I was fine. I asked why. He said because I was moping around for three days. Well, that made me mad. I asked how was I acting…because I really didn’t know. He said I was so placid. I don’t get excited about anything. NEWSFLASH: you were an asshole to me, broke my heart and fucked someone else. I’m still sad. I also withdraw from confrontation. I just let it flow. Sigh…men are asshats. Xxoo

  8. Wow – no chocolate or cheese???????????????? How about Pinot Grigio πŸ™‚ Getting there – that’s where we are all heading. Except we don’t know where the f**k ‘there’ is! So we ‘feel’ our way and sometimes are sad and sometimes we are mad and sometimes we are OK. Almost three years for me but the other day I exploded with the rage that I thought had subsided. I was talking about what he did with Pig Shit – (why/ blah blah blah – no idea now of the details) when he said that I really needed to let it go. WTF????? Had he forgotten every thing I have said about NEVER saying move on or get over it – EVER!!!!! The red mist descended and I punched the bed so hard that I hurt my wrist. Screamed, cried, tried pulling my hair out. You know the stuff. You ALL know the stuff I’m talking about. Anyway – the bottom line was (apart from him being an idiot) he was making a ‘suggestion’ for that moment in time and only that moment in time because my daughter was about to arrive. Of course, I would not want her to see me in a mess and we had planned a lovely weekend together to look forward to. Well, he is no wordsmith (how Pig Shit fell for his texts is beyond me) and he realises his error. Only just stopped wearing the Dunce’s cap! Back on the OK track. Heart calmer and blood racing around at a more leisurely pace now. Oh, and a nice glass of ice-cold Pinot helped too πŸ™‚

  9. Baby steps my sweet friend πŸ™‚ We all have a long road ahead. I am so glad you are doing better, are at almost okay, and are still trudging along.

    I hate that question too πŸ™‚ I am here, I am breathing, and I am trying…nothing is wrong that can be fixed now, it can only be survived. And we are just that…survivors 😦

    Your diet sucks, I will eat some pasta with bread with a huge piece of chocolate pie, just for you because I love you πŸ˜‰ The things I do for my friends

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