Dday here and gone

So, everyone, I survived Dday.

Shocker…I know!

Things are going well. He seems to really love me, and I him. But, I still have doubts. I’m sure he does, too.

This week sucked because October 14th was Dday. But, it didn’t suck as bad as I thought.

Guess I am doing better than I ever imagined? Who the hell knows?

He was good, attentive and loving. I thanked him for being great this week and he had to ask why. Sigh…I chalk it up to being a guy. Either he was playing coy or he was guy-clueless. Whatever.

I have lingering doubts about some things and I’m writing them down so I’m not such a coward to admit them:

  1. Why hasn’t he looked for a job? [Biggest doubt, most painful and important]
  2. What do they talk about at work?
  3. Does he still like her?
  4. Why hasn’t she found a new job?
  5. Communication: Our conversations often seem one-sided. He talks about his stuff and I listen really well. I’m really interested. I love him. But, when it comes to my stuff, he seems to “check out” and not really listen. That hurts, to be honest.

I don’t know. There are times I don’t respond to his texts right away. Just being pissy at times, because I don’t want to be too available/desperate. Weird, I know––immature, I know…

We signed the remodeling contract and that is also a small doubt in my mind. When it’s complete, will he decide we aren’t working out? Him thinking that I’m finally getting the kitchen and bath done, I’ll be happy with that and it will be a good time for him to leave?

Like I said, just lingering doubts. I’m sure we all have them.

Have I forgiven him? No, not yet. Not sure it will ever get to that. I hope so, but I’m not jumping too fast to forgive when I still have Doubt #1!

Anyway, that’s all for now. Hope all of you are doing well xoxo

17 thoughts on “Dday here and gone

  1. This is one of those cases where I put my hands up and say “wow, I don’t know if I could do what you do.” You are doing incredibly well in the circumstances. He’s probably just clueless but wtf is he doing still working with her? That’s just so inappropriate. As for her- well of course she won’t move, it’s not convenient.

    I’m glad you had a better week than you feared. And so glad he’s being good to you. Sometimes they really are fools…well as if the affair wasn’t proof enough. Can we say trading treasure for trash?

    Really admire how you’re dealing with it. Take care of yourself.

  2. Well congrats on surviving D Day… mine is next weekend and I’m really not looking forward to it. So much has happened this past year and I’m really not sure I could have gotten thru it without all my blogging buddies… especially as you;re the only ones that know my life was turned upside down almost 1 year ago!!

    I’m pleased your husband is being attentive and loving but disappointed he had no clue what this week meant to you! Why are they oh so clueless?? I get the job thing, I really do. As you know the pit faced whore and my husband still work at the same place altho thankfully, no longer together… BUT she’s still there day in, day out, still working on the same floor and it pisses me off no end!!

    We actually had a conversation about it today and I told him how I hate him working where he is because of the affair. He pointed out he had an interview for another job next week but its not like he’s actively looking, they sought him out. I think if he really, truly understood what his affair had done to me, he would be be actively seeking a new job, in a new town, but he isn’t 😦

    I’m a betrayed spouse, get me outta here!!!!

  3. Oh I’m so glad you survived. I like you 😉 H and I are the opposite with our conversations. He rarely opens up and talks about his day, or anything else for that matter, but he does listen to me, although too often checked out in my opinion, and that’s what’s holding us back…well, and everything else, but that’s our biggie. Why don’t guys understand how important communication is? Glad your doing better though.

  4. Ahh D-day…only people in the affair world even know what it stands for.

    Maybe we should all look at it as the end of the lies and our lives but the start of our healing and our spouses journeys into the real world.

    Or maybe it’s just always going to be the destruction of our happy…

    Sigh…props to you for surviving and thriving. Wouldn’t expect any less of you…

    XOXO

  5. I would kill for an Oct 14 dday! Lol!
    Mines Christmas Day!! So not only do I hurt, but I have to fake it or ruin the holiday for not faking it! hahahaha how fucked up is that! Im ruining the holiday! NOT the person who caused me all the grief! hahahha Good luck… and yea, I have no idea how u can be so damn strong…

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