A Year Ago Today

My husband had intercourse with the Evil Bitch a year ago today.

I know this specifically because he wrote it in a letter to me last November. His timeline of his affair.

Was it the first time they had sex? No. You see, to a woman, sex is defined by any sexual touch. To men, sex is defined by intercourse. I don’t know the specific date they had “sex” – he doesn’t recall. After all, it was “dozens of times” (they touched, kissed and other things). Yeah, that makes me feel so much better…

Therefore, it was more than one year ago he had “sex” with her in my mind.

How do I feel today? What am I doing?

Well, I feel distant about it. Not really hurting horribly. I guess a bit numb. Time helps. Our progress in healing has helped. My attitude helps.

Do I still want to rip every hair out of her head and break her teeth? Youbetcha!

Where is my husband today? Well, he’s on his way to a big college football (American football) game with his brother. He won’t be home until late tonight. Tailgating is a sport in itself around here.

Does my husband have any idea what day is today and what it means? Probably not.

However, he is very aware how many days it is until we leave for Bermuda. He has been counting those days down since two+ weeks ago. I’m happy about that. It makes me feel loved and hopeful.

So, instead of wallowing in any self pity, I’ve got plans to get myself out of the house.

First, mani/pedi – it’s time for some dark nails to ring in the autumn weather! After that, my girlfriend and I will walk around a nearby town’s cheese festival (yes, it is festival season, after all). Then, I will take my oldest son out for a great dinner. And then, at the end of the night, I’ll probably watch some soppy chick flick and ball my eyes out as an excuse to let it all out.

Will I throw the date in my husband’s face? No. I won’t mention it. It’s one of the many wounds I will carry for the rest of my days.

So, chin up, getting my ass up and starting my day.

Happy September 13th, everyone…

21 thoughts on “A Year Ago Today

  1. brokenjoan says:

    Today is an Anti-versary for me also, 2 years ago today is when I found out about the affair! Fall is my favorite season, now that is tainted! So many triggers, so many! I will keep you in my thoughts as I try & get through today. Hugs from Joan

    • Ah Joan, she of such wise words… I hope today was bearable for you and that you managed to sweep away some of the bad memories and make some new, more positive, ones! I hope your husband hugged you just a little tighter and told you he loved you a little more frequently. He is one lucky SOB, they all are. Lucky that we didn’t leave their sorry asses for dust when we found out they were cheating bastards.

      Sending you love and hugs aplenty today xoxo

    • Joan — wow, I’m so sorry! Yeah, fall was my favorite season. Our anniversary is early October and so is my Dday. Hugs back to you. I agree with Kelly, I see your strength in your words over the last 8+ months. Keeping you in my thoughts too xxoo

  2. Hugs to you and Joan today. I was a wreck at one year, you’re doing amazingly well. He’d better be amazing to you in Bermuda, or else there’s a triangle I can introduce him to 🙂

  3. brokenjoan says:

    Thanks to all my dear sweet, but incredibly strong blogging friends, your hugs mean so much! Today has gone extremely well, I haven’t even brought it up! There’s not an OW out there that can bring any of us down, we are all survivors! Hugs & much love to all my kick ass friends, Joan

  4. Tempted… UGH… fucking anniversaries. I hate them all. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier not to know these fucking dates but then I think at least the whole summer wasn’t ruined because of the affair just certain days!! Like yours, I’m sure my husband had no idea of the significance of the dates he fucked the whore as they passed us by this summer, and like you, I didn’t bother reminding him unless he asked what was up!

    I hope your day went as planned and that it was a good one for you!

    Here’s to tomorrow my friend xx

  5. Thanks to all of you. Today was okay. It rained like a bitch and was COLD! Yay to fuckaversaries! [Sorry about my potty mouth].

    Got my mani/pedi in a lovely Bordeaux color and then got my hair done. It was nice to be nice to myself today. Spoke to my sister and she made me laugh. Enjoyed dinner with my eldest son. He’s magnificent. He’s so intelligent and funny. He’s one of the lights of my life!

    Hubby has texted and called multiple times today. He’s rather miserable. Been tailgating since 10ish this morning and the game only started at 8pm. He’s been standing for 10 hours, in the rain, feet wet, blah, blah, blah. Yeah…in the rain! hahahahahaha! THANK YOU, GOD, THANK YOU!

    Sorry, I really am giggling. The little smidgeon of justice God rains down (yes, pun intended) to make my husband miserable while at a football game is priceless. God must be a woman…I mean, really!

    The show I’ll enjoy in a little while is the next episode of Outlander. So, I’ll escape for an hour or so and fall asleep in my warm bed alone. Hubby won’t get home until well after midnight. I’ll welcome him with open arms and grin a little bit as he complains what a long, cold, wet day it was and how he wished he was home with me.

    Yeah, well…fuckiversary is almost done and I hope I don’t have to worry about it any more tonight.

      • Thank you my darling. I did my blog because I found out that she had destroyed another person too. She’s also a prostitute! I’m done being terrified of her. Big hugs to you I’ve just caught up on your posts xx

      • Your story is similar to another blogger, who is from the US and found another betrayed spouse. Her family was abused by a black widow whore. Once the two women compared stories, the husbands fell right in line and the whore crawled back under the rock which she came from! Good luck and stay strong! Good always trumps evil!

      • Thank you hun. Knowing I’m not alone has given me strength. I just find it hard to understand how anyone can be so utterly cruel. This woman truly is a whore she actually sells herself for money! All I know is she will never hurt my family again xx

  6. I just came across your blog for the first time, but I recognize your name and some commenters from another blog I read regularly. Today, October 3, is the first anniversary of my D-Day. I am really struggling with it. I thought we would be in such a different place by now, and instead I am feeling more broken than ever.

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