Bad dreams

Just writing this down before i forget them…

For the past two nights, I’ve had some bad dreams, which is rare. I usually sleep well and really don’t remember my dreams.

The first night, I dreamt that I was a divorced and how I really couldn’t believe my life. I was so sad and devastated. I was single and miserable. I actually felt my chest tighten and throat close up. It felt so real that I woke up, feeling those physical traits. It was horrible.

Last night (or rather, this morning), I dreamt that I yelled at my husband. I can visualize the dream, but can’t describe the setting. However, the yelling I do remember! He said something (stupid, I presume) and I lashed out and said, “Well, you slept with her and still work with the whore! Of course I’m not over it!!!”

I guess I have some unresolved issues, huh? Ha!

Yeah, good fucking morning, people…

14 thoughts on “Bad dreams

  1. Normal human response coming right up there. I hope he held you. I hope he got it. I hope he feels it in his bones all day and doesn’t lock it away where he can’t think about it. Because while you’re the one with the emotions, he’s the one who has to fix this. And we all know there’s no real fix but safety- the lack of which is what screams from both dreams- safety is what he can deliver. He’d better get to work so he can get onto that.

  2. He’s definitely trying. But, how do I know he really feels it? I think that my trust in his reaction, words, actions, etc. is not 100%. I think that’s normal and I hope my trust grows more and more (I believe it is.)

    I’ve seen the “real” him over the past two months. The man he was last year during the affair and post are soooo different than the man I live with now. He’s back, but I won’t really believe him for quite some time. I won’t allow myself, yet. Self-preservation!

  3. Fun times indeed! Was their affair common knowledge at work or kept secret like my husband’s? I hope he stays home with you tonight instead of heading out for baseball night xx

    • Kept “secret” as much as he knows! Nope, he’s driving the 3 other guys so he’s going for sure!

      It’s okay — if it’s just the guys. He told me about it last week, told me what he told her and she opted not to go.

      This morning he thanked me for trusting him enough to allow him to go tonight. He’s not the guy that goes out with the guys after work, at all. No, he just fucked around when he was alone with her! Sigh

  4. brokenjoan says:

    Sometimes I think I’d take a bad dream if I could just sleep, it’s been almost 2 years & I either take a pill to sleep or I lay awake all night with everything he said to her doing instant replay in my head! The affair a gift that just keeps on giving!

  5. I hate those dreams you can feel. But it sounds as though, your starting to really see a glimmer of the man you married, and gaining a little trust, that’s great 🙂 he better stay on this path 😉

  6. DJ says:

    Nightmares and insomnia – I had one or the other for well over a year. I’m glad it’s not common for you,Tempted. I still have one nightmare that pops in every so often. I am sitting on the floor in my front hall. The house has been emptied of everything and I hear my husband’s footsteps outside, walking away for good. I am alone, abandoned. The hurt and fear I feel in this dream continue for some time after I I wake up. Not fun and no end in sight. Fortunately I don’t have it very often anymore.

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