This post is mainly directed to the participating partner. I thought about naming the post, “The Groundhog Day Flogging.”
Each partner in the infidelity transaction experiences pain, disappointment, and loss. Of course, these negative feelings aren’t the same quality or caliber on both sides, but they nevertheless leave a mark. Processing the affair with your injured partner is at once difficult, painful, exhausting, and REQUIRED.
This required bit is tricky–it comes at you from both ends: You know as the participating partner that has caused so much trauma, that there is a degree of “earned” flogging…ie rehashing, apologizing, explaining, etc., that must be done in order to demonstrate 1.) that you are sorry, 2.) that you are sorry, and 3.) that you are determined to help your partner cope and move forward. From the other direction, your partner is pretty convinced that you owe him the courtesy of discussing the…
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