Attack of the Flashback, Part II

Excellent advice!

it's not the end

This post is mainly directed to the participating partner.  I thought about naming the post, “The Groundhog Day Flogging.”

Each partner in the infidelity transaction experiences pain, disappointment, and loss.  Of course, these negative feelings aren’t the same quality or caliber on both sides, but they nevertheless leave a mark. Processing the affair with your injured partner is at once difficult, painful, exhausting, and REQUIRED.

This required bit is tricky–it comes at you from both ends:  You know as the participating partner that has caused so much trauma, that there is a degree of “earned” flogging…ie rehashing, apologizing, explaining, etc., that must be done in order to demonstrate 1.) that you are sorry,  2.) that you are sorry, and 3.) that you are determined to help your partner cope and move forward.  From the other direction, your partner is pretty convinced that you owe him the courtesy of discussing the…

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Mellie, I’ve got your back

Tried to watch Scandal last night and ended up reading more of my latest self help book instead while the husband watched.

He asked me questions about the plot and I was rather removed from answering.

Last night’s episode really was painful.

Spoiler alert:

Mellie was having an affair with the VP, because what’s good for the gander…

Then Fitz (the president) found out and threw a conniption — really, Fitz, really?

Mellie has been suffering from Mr. Gigilo’s infidelity for years, having Olivia in their lives daily, and he throws her affair in her face? Pissed me off. Don’t get me wrong, two wrongs don’t make a right, but clearly she was still in pain from his infidelity. And, still suffering from the past wrongs done to her by her FIL (what a soap opera).

Anyway, to make matters even worse, the damn movie trailer for “The Other Woman” came on during the commercials! Sheesh…flashback and pain all within like 20 minutes!

In any event, I hate Olivia Pope — she’s a righteous, pompous piece of shit now and I can’t stand what she represents. Neither can I stand Fitz. He doesn’t have my vote.

Don’t worry, Mellie, I’ve got your back!


Marital infidelity and a shot of espresso…REALLY???

Coffee Clutch and Affair — Interesting observation.

Culture Monk

polar plunge 9

By Kenneth Justice

That’s the woman you’re sleeping with???” I asked

~ A coffee house acquaintance of mine is having an affair with a married woman. Initially he didn’t tell me that the woman was married, “Kenneth, I met this incredibly awesome woman and the chemistry between the two of us is electric!” he told me a long time ago. But whenever I’d ask for more details about this ‘incredibly awesome’ woman he would grow silent and give me vague answers.

It wasn’t until he was sitting with me one morning and an older woman sat down with us…..a much older woman. My acquaintance is a bit older than me (he’s in his early forties) and the woman who sat down with us was pushing 70.

Kenneth I’d like you to meet L——” my acquaintance said, “she plays the violin…

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Article: Why Men Cheat (Elle Magazine, May 2013)

Came across this article while reviewing my husband’s browser history on his computer yesterday. Yes, I still do that. I will for awhile. 

I was at first scared that he read this recently, UNTIL I read the article. For me, it was insightful. Helped me understand a little more.

Anyway, let me know what you think. The comments at the bottom of the article are interesting as well.

Time for work…


Should I feel guilty?

For those that know my fun filled story, my husband cheated on me with a woman who works for him. Anyway, I live in a constant hell because THEY STILL WORK TOGETHER! Oh, according to my husband (and right now, I believe him), it’s over and JUST BUSINESS (rolls eyes).

So my community question to all those betrayed wives out there (and betrayed husbands), should I feel guilty that “she hurt her knee getting out of her car” the week before and hasn’t been able to return to work?

My inner response? THANK FUCKNESS! Sorry, this not a G-rate rant…

Thank fuckness that she’s hurt, that she’s not in the office and that she hasn’t texted him in over a week! Thank fuckness that she is feeling some type of pain. Too bad she didn’t fall and break her damn leg! Too bad she didn’t break her face!

Yeah, I’m thinking rather evilly and that’s the guilt that I “sorta” feel. But, if I were truly honest with myself, is it evil? NOT REALLY!

I just hope the EB (short for Evil Bitch) doesn’t return. I just hope she finds another damn job or stays out on “disability” for flippin’ life.

Can you all pray for me? Light a candle? Throw a penny in a fountain? Sacrifice a glass of Sauvignon Blanc to the Wind Goddess? Anyyyyything will help!

Should I feel guilty? Absofuckinglutely NOT!