Blood Tests

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Results: I received my results and thank you, God, all came out clean and I’m perfectly healthy!

Facts: At first, I wasn’t really worried because I was assured he had “SAFE” sex, but soon I learned that condoms do not protect 100% against sexually transmitted infections and diseases. In some reports, only 30% effective! However, he did have oral sex with her and who the hell knows if the skank was disease-free!?!

Humiliation: I was humiliated having to request the tests and then further humiliated going over the results with the doctor.

Thankful: I’m thankful that I’m healthy. I will count my blessings. But, I better not have to go through this humiliation and fear again or I’m cutting off his balls.

Don’t let infidelity define you, but REFINE you!

I’m writing this post as a dedication to those people who are feeling so hurt from their partner’s infidelity. I want them to know they are amazing people and worthy of great love and respect.

Don’t let your partner’s infidelity define you, but refine you. Evolve, become someone greater, better and happier.

I remember Ivana Trump’s famous line, “Don’t get mad, get everything!” That always made me chuckle. She was going through a very public, very expensive divorce. That’s not the reason I chose the quote. I admired her for keeping her head up and rising above Donald’s infidelities.

What does “everything” mean to you? To me, it means happiness. That word is an open word left to translation by the individual.

For me, happiness is on my path. I could take many paths, but I choose happiness. I want to see my children grown, married, happy and raising their children. I want to travel, experience many cultures and enjoy those adventures with my husband. That’s my chosen path–happiness.

I choose me.

Ricochet

Piggy-backing off another friend’s blog today, we seem to be suffering from the same lack of clear themes for our posts. Let’s blame interrupted sleep last night, loud snoring from our husbands and still dealing with their bad decisions = random, bitter thoughts ricocheting through our minds.

Perhaps I, too, suffer from ADD like my eldest son. One moment, I’m clear, focused and on-point. The next, I’m distracted, living in the past, reconstructing the timeline, figuring out what SHE is like, and then wondering if he’ll leave.

That’s the woman he’s married to now. Whether he likes it or not!

Ricochet Rabbit…that’s me today!

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To Remodel Our Kitchen or Remodel My Life?

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That is the question!

Not only are we recovering from his infidelity, just throw in a long awaited kitchen (and family bath) remodel project!

Yeah, like the marriage doesn’t have enough stressors!!!

I used to joke that we would get divorced during the remodel project we had been dreaming of for years. Now, I’m worried that it could happen!

DURING THE LAST TWO MONTHS, I WASN’T THINKING OF THE REMODEL PROJECT. I WAS THINKING AND WONDERING, “IS HE GOING TO LEAVE ME?

We haven’t signed any contracts or paid any money. But in the last three weeks, we met with a contractor (cool hippy guy that DEFINITELY went to Woodstock in ’69 – that’s another story). I drew out some designs, and looked at some cabinets.  But, that’s about it…all conceptual, nothing concrete. Can you say gun shy?

I asked J two weeks ago if we should do this remodel. His quick reply was “YES!” My response was, “Only if you don’t leave, otherwise, I don’t want to go through with it.” His immediate reply, “Remember what I said? The only way I’m going to leave is if you throw me out!”

OK…it’s still not sinking in…I’m still scared…numb…gun shy…

How to make the OW quit her job?

That is the question I knock around each day. How to make her (aka EVIL BITCH) quit her job and exit our lives forever?

I know there are laws…but, really, I don’t give a shit about laws at this point (I do…but, I don’t want to!). I would love to cause her so much stress she would want to run for the hills and crawl under a big rock and die. Seriously. I’m not too proud to admit my dream!

I saw some “activity” on the cell phone account today. That always puts me in a state of panic. You see, I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Trust isn’t there, yet. So, he called mid-afternoon but I was on a conference call, so I called him back. I realized I was dialing his office # which I hardly ever do – easier to catch him on his cell. Anyway, we caught up on things and I asked if he had a “full house” at work today. He told me no, he did but “she” had to leave to pick up her son and wouldn’t be back. He was very conscious of how he spoke with me, I could tell he was uncomfortable. It was a test. He got a 75, I think.

Sidebar: He was actually in his office, on the office phone so he couldn’t go outside to talk with me, which he does regularly. THAT has been a bone of contention with me, which I express a few weeks ago. I asked why he won’t talk with me while he was in the building. I knew the answer, of course. His version of his truth was: He wants privacy when he speaks with me and he didn’t want me to overhear her voice if she came into his office to speak with him. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to hear her at all, that’s true. But, I said that it hurt me and made me feel undervalued for him to do that. I want him to speak with me in the building and let them all know, especially EVIL BITCH that he has enjoyable, loving conversations with his WIFE! Am I right or am I fucking delusional?

Back to today: She had texted him at lunch today to explain that she wouldn’t be back because she had to pick up her son, who broke down in his car…blah…blah…blah. I read the text when he got home, of course. To me, it was an overdone explanation, like she was trying to pull him back in with personal information. His reply was “Got it” – which was short and hopefully not considered sweet.

I would love some ideas (real or fantasy) to make this happen. Anyone with a law degree? Any advice? Crowdsource problem solving…anyone?